True Life: I used to be a Slut-Shamer by Kate Potenzano

        

In January, on the first day of class I am ashamed to admit that I never really knew what slut-shaming was and even more so embarrassed that I actually participated in it. If I didn’t like a girl or disagreed with her decisions, I would say, “oh she’s just a slut” or something demeaning just to prove that I looked down on her choices and how she lives her life. Our generation should be more aware of how wrong that truly is just to put down someone because you don’t like them for whatever reasoning, using hurtful words and names whether you agree with how they sexually express themselves or even if they just don’t conform to the social norms 1. If they have the guts to lead their own life and step out of the boundaries that have been set for us as a society, we should celebrate them not diminish that. In simplest terms, slut shaming is humiliating a person for expressing their sexuality; having multiple sexual partners, or even just talking about sexual feelings they have more openly than people are used to 2. However, some people, like those on urban dictionary misconstrue the term for “good way to make a ho feel guilty because she doesn't know how to have fun without spreading her legs.” used with the example “Jenni gets offended when we start slut shaming her, but honestly there's nothing wrong with it.” stated by username PlayaCardzRight 3. Five months ago, that sentence wouldn’t have bothered me all that much, I’d brush it off and go about my business but now after learning about how it affects our culture today and that if I as a woman degrade another woman for her decisions, it seems to make a guy or someone else to normalize it. This slut-shaming behavior has to stop making people feel badly and name-calling just for having sexual experiences and/or being open about it 1. How do we put an end to this and spread awareness? Be Aware! Watch your mouth! 2 Especially since attending Mrs. Moore’s slut-shaming lecture, I’ve become more aware of what I say. Who are you and who am I to judge people? Loose Girl by Kerry Cohen also taught me that just because someone seems promiscuous you never really know what happens behind closed doors and what is going on in someone’s head (Cohen)4. Overall, since taking History of Sexuality, attending out of class lectures and reading the memoir of the inside story of a woman whose need for love drives her to questionable sexual experiences, my eyes have been open for the better and I will continue to educate people of the rape culture and slut shaming that this culture has normalized, starting with making changes with how I view people as well as society’s outlook on women and sexualizing this generation.  

1- Moore, Crystal “Slut Shaming Lecture” April 10, 2014

2- "FAQ: What is "slut-shaming"?." Finally A Feminism 101 Blog. http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2010/04/04/what-is-slut-shaming/ (accessed April 30, 2014).

3- http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=slut%20shaming

4- Cohen, Kerry. Loose Girl. New York 2008.